I'm sorry. I'm really sorry you chose this path.
There's no way back and you have to learn to live
with that feeling for the eternity.
Every action has an everlasting impact.
I know you wanted to feel dead without actually being dead.
But there's other way. You just have to look closer.
There's other way.
I can't assure you the way out of this hell, but you have to believe.

But I do want you elsewhere. Think of your loved ones.
They wouldn't wants this.
So, do it, do it for them. And let yourself be happy.