My personal list of books

"BLOOD MERIDIAN (1985) - Cormac McCarthy"

Currently this is my favorite book of all times.
If could describe Blood Meridian in a few words I would say unexpectedly beautiful and y sadly brutal.
This story couldn't be told with the same effectiveness if it wasn't for Cormac's peculiar way of writing.
To be honest I didn't find it hard to read as some people told me,
actually those first words:
('See the child. He is pale and thin, he wears a thin and ragged linen shirt')
set the tone for what comes next.
Keep in mind this is the first Cormac McCarthy's book I've ever read and
I think it's a great first exposition of the topics and the type of stories he wrote about.
I insist they way this book is written is so fascinating to me,
it was biblical at times and even I felt like I was seeing a movie while reading it; it's that good, really.
I know it can be kind of off putting the fact that he doesn't use commas,
but when you get used to it flows very well.
About the characters well, there's so much to say about them,
because in Blood Meridian the nature of its characters is left ambiguous on purpose,
so are their moral compasses.
The Judge Holden was supernaturally terrifying and he was just so cruel.
His discourse about war being an inherently part of human behaviour is something I do believe.
I loved how there was this moral dispute between the ex priest Tobin
and the Judge Holden and how the Kid was just standing in the middle,
choosing an anodyne path.
Other aspect I really love about Blood Meridian is the tarot references
and all the supernatural kind of stuff overall,
it gives the story a layer of misticism.
About my favorite quotes, I would say the "Whatever in creation that exist without my knowledge, exist without my consent"
was brutal, like I felt scared the moment I read that sentence;
and also, I love the opening.
It's hard to choose a quote from Blood Meridian, the whole book was memorable.

"DEMIAN, DIE GESCHICHTE VON EMIL SINCLAIR JUGEND (1919) - Herman Hesse"

Demian was such an event in my life when I first read it at the bare age of 11.
It felt like someone was speaking directly towards me about all the things
that would eventually happen once adolescence began.
I've never felt so seen in a book character as with Emil Sinclair
(and this is kind of a spoiler of what comes next in my list, because Harry Haller is another character I deeply relate to).
Demian begins with the definition of the two worlds Emil has in his mind;
one world it's the light and it's clean and
it's represented by very protected enviroment by his family values,
while the other world it's dark and dirty and dangerous,
it's about all the bad things that people don't talk about and sometimes
it's seems like it's hidding within the light world.
That concept right there was so powerful to me,
because I had the same impression when I was a little kid;
I felt like in my home everything was in order, it was indeed very clean and warm and
if I felt bad someone would listen to me and it felt good having a good behaviour
and doing the things I was supposed to do, but I knew deep down that this couldn't last forever
because outside of my house, there was a violent and wild world that slipped in the news headlines or
in the parents of my classmates.
Maybe I took this is a personal interpretation,
but it was what really resonated with me.
Then, when Emil Sinclair hits puberty he feels like he starts living a double life and that he,
irremediably was moving away from the innocence of childhood,
like he wasn't welcome anymore.
And that also spoke volumes to me, because I was feeling the same way at that age,
it was like even your parents wouldn't recognize you and you were guilty of some kind of crime you didn't know.
Afterwards the appearence of Demian starts to kind of bother Emil and
another point I also liked about the book was the relationship between Demian and Emil.
I saw Demian as a metaphor of maturity
(that explains the end in my opinion) and well,
The Great War temporal context,
added a layer of hopelessness I liked.
Now Demian it's a book I revisit constantly because the book changes as I change too.

"DER STEPPENWOLF (1927) - Herman Hesse"

Yeah, here it goes another Herman Hesse book.
This one I read it in like 8th grade and since,
it's been like a map to my personality and soul.
I swear, when I read Der Steppenwolf I unterstood so well what Harry Haller felt,
his duality.
When his human part tried to socialize,
but his wolf part laughed at it and it kind of ridiculized him.
I'm even feel short at words,
because this book is such a treasure to me,
it's so painfully personal.

"THE CATCHER IN THE RYE (1951) - J.D Salinger"

I know some will disagree with me,
but I didn't think at all that Holden was an unbeareble character.
I actually think he's one of the most accurate depiction
of a thirteen/fourteen boy,
I mean, who wasn't like that at that age?.
I was like that and it's perfectly fine because
that's how you're supposed to act in like 8th grade,
you just don't know better.
There are some parts of The Catcher in the Rye that made me really emotional,
for example when Holden was drunk and
visited her little sister and
he wanted to get caught by his parents,
but they were so uninterested about him and they didn't even realized he was there at all
nor they even cared.
The ending was so bitterweet to me,
because I always thought that Holden would relapse in his behaviour
and it was so cathartic.
For some reason, in my mind I imagined the scene.