WAKE UP: MY DREAM JOURNAL, JUST FOR YOU

5.23.25

All I remember is that I was smoking,
but I couldn't breath out the smoke.
And I remember thinking that was weird.
And I took a drag of the cigarrette,
and another one, and another one,
but it was the same result.

5.17.25

I dreamed that I was in a restaurant with both my parents.
The restaurant was oddly big with white tiles on the floor.
It was almost empty and
everything outside of the restaurante seemed to blend in darkness.
There was a buffet,
I wasn't hungry at all.
We weren't sitting at a table,
we were standing in front of the counter.
I remember my mom asking something to the guy behind the counter
(who didn't move at all, didn't even blinked until my mom talked to him).
The dude said something along the lines of
"ma'am you can choose the type of salad you want from the salad bar at the left"
and she FREAKED OUT,
but like immediately.
She got so angry and
I couldn't understand why,
but thing started to escalate and
I woke up abruptly in the middle of it.

5.4.25

Do you remember the ugly, blonde guy of my other dream? He appeared again.
For more context, in every dream he has appeared,
he's my boyfriend.
Well, in this dream, we were still together and
I had the impresion that we've moved into the apartment the dream took place.
The apartment had green/beige paper wall and
it was old, not victorian old, but still old and kind of small.
Since, apparently, we moved there, there were lots of carboard boxes,
and stuff and I remember that he had a canary,
it was yellow (although I could swear it turned to red at some point of the dream).
His canary didn't have a cage, it flew freely around the apartment.
For some reason he had no shirt and
I noticed how fair his skin was, it was almost ghostly.
He's not albino, but his eyelashes
are kind of white so are his eyebrowns.
It catched my attention the fact that he had a necklace.
The necklace had a red fringe at the end and it seemed hand-made.
I didn't know why, but at the dinner table there were a handful of people
that I assume were friends of ours and
they were eating breakfast, I think.
I craved something sweet, so we sat down with them.
At some point, the ugly, blonde guy looks at me
and say "I lost my canary. My canary is lost",
he didn't seemed worried,
but I started looking for the bird all around the apartment,
he followed.
Behind a desk I found a big, fat, black rat bleeding.
He had blood coming out of his mouth like he had ate something
and his right leg was wounded,
so wounded to the point his bone was exposed.
I grabbed the rat and noticed it was breathing still.
The dream ended when I looked at the ugly, blonde guy,
with the rat in my hand and I said to him:
"Thank goodness we found him alive. Here's your rat".
Well, like I told you before,
this is not the first time I had dream with this exact guy.
The first dream was months ago
and I remember we were sitting on a couch in the middle of
an empty room and
I was kissing his left eye.
We were hugging and I remember my kisses tickled him and
I could feel the wrinkles in his eye on my lips so vividly.
The other dream is described in one of my digital entries,
I don't remember the details,
but he wore a white shirt and we were running down endless stairs.
In the third, we were sitting on the bench inside a monastery.
Who is him?,
Will I see him again?

5.3.25

I dreamed that somehow I was in a school classroom but
my teacher was my molecular biology real life teacher and
my classmates were my collage classmates.
I don't know why, but
one of my friends was dressed as a cowboy,
but like the 50's spaguetti western type of cowboy outfit
(it was never addressed in my dream)
and apparently, there was a proyect due to that day and I found out that very moment.
I don't know why I wasn't worried.

5.1.25

I woke up with Kirsten Dunst face tattoed in my mind.
I don't remember anything else.

4.29.25

So, today I dreamed that I was in a hotel.
I remember the beige carpet floor and the gray shadows,
all over the walls.
The lights were on even tho it was day.
I looked at the huge window at the end of the room
and there were lots of people outside,
hanging out in a park with the greenest grass I've ever seen.
I wanted to be there, there was so much determination in me.
I remember that, for some reason, all of us (the ones in the hotel),
couldn't leave the hotel, like it was mandatory,
a law even.
But I didn't care, I was so careless and
I remember putting on my shoes and
just simply running away,
running through a long hall with an elevator at the end.
Music started blasting from the room I leaved and
a couple of officials came and started confronting me,
but I was too far gone, I didn't care,
I just got awat from them.
I don't know how, but I managed to do that.
I don't remember leaving the hotel.
I woke up with the feeling that
the dream was interrupted rather that finished.

4.26.25

I know more stuff was going on, but what I retained was that my mom
(out of nowehere) told me to pick just two cigarretes from her pack,
hidden in that spot of her wardrobe I, of course, know about.
She told me I could keep them
and I was very happy about it.
The other detail I remember was that
it wasn't day nor night, it was dark,
but not too dark.
There were some very dark shadows in the room, so it wasn't day.
Was it night? No, it wasn't dusk.
The strange part is that everything felt so real,
actually it felt so real that when I woke up I searched for those two cigarretes in my bag,
and for a couple of hours I wasn't sure if I woke up at all.
It's weird because I knew my eyes were open and
that I wasn't in a dream, but it just simply didn't feel like i was awake.
It felt that like something in between,
like I lived in a short-lived and distant memory.
A memory that isn't mine, but I'm part of.
Something between layers, a taste of another perspective.
What is real at this point?

4.21.25

I saw my cat again,
but she was a kitten,
like she was so little she couldn't even open her eyes.
And I told her that
even tho I couldn't be with her since the beggining,
I would protect her and
love her for the rest of her life.

4.19.25

I dreamed that a couple of german exchange students arrived to my collage.
And nobody talked to them because they were blonde,
so I talked to them and they were so nice,
the nicest you can imagine.
I remember one of them being called something like Hanna or Anna
and the other one had like her hair tied in braids.
I really hated the fact no one approached them.
We we're spending time in collage and
they invited me to a picnic and offered me cigarretes
(the package was blue).
They were so nice.

4.16.25

My cat appeared in my dreams.
In my dream my cat was bigger
and fatter and she wanted to climb on my lap.
Once in my lap, I could feel her warmth while I petted her.
I was sitting in the dinning table and
on the table there were a lot of bread crumbs
that my cat wanted to eat.
How I love my cat.

4.14.25

These past days have been confusing because
I catched a cold so I've had fever dreams that
I can't distinguish once I wake up.
For example, a couple of days ago,
I remember being in a dark room where I found an old purse of mine
and when I opened it contained sticker sheets,
then in another dream I remember seeing a trailer park and nothing more.
I always wake up with this weird sensation tha
t a lot of thing happened while I was asleep but
at the same time I can feel how the memories slip
from me even tho I try to retain them.
Then I dreamed today that I had a date with
this man I have dreamed before of.
He has like a really blonde hair, shoulder lenght.
His hair is like very straight, very beautiful
and he talks with an accent,
like he's slavic and everyone thinks he's very ugly
except me.
Unlike the other dreams that I've had,
he was wearing black clothes and we were sitting,
looking at each other,
and between us was this table with this bright flowered tablecloth.
And I had the strong feeling that we talked a lot but we didn't move our mouths,
but it's wasn't telepathy either.
The only thing I remember is that the table
wasn't part of the place we were in,
because we were on some of a school,
but there weren't children,
so I can't tell really were we were.

4.10.25

I remember a supermarket I couldn't leave.
Stairs that led to nowhere
and a bowl of mac'n'cheese.
Now I realize I, indeed,
dream a lot about pasta.

4.8.25

In my dream there was a chinese man, and he wore a cap.
The only thing I recall besides that was
that I was on some kinds of skycraper at night
and I could see the city from there
(don't know what city, by the way).
Maybe I was shorter than real life,
but I can't recall anything besides what I wrote.

4.6.25

I actually dreamed last night.
I don't remember exactly how it began
or how it ended,
but I was in some sort of catholic private school
and then I was eating something at the canteen,
it started as a spaghetti plate,
but mid bite it turned into some kind of chocolate dessert.
I can't recall anything besides the fact that the lighting was weird
(was it day?, was it cloudy? was it afternoon?)
and that I didn't know why I was there to begin with.

4.5.25

I don't remember dreaming
something in particular last night.
I may be wrong. Sometimes, I confuse reality with dreams,
not to the point of
not realizing if I woke up,
but to question what was real.
Was it a dream, or a fuzzy memory?
It's like déjà-vus.
"I've lived this already,
and we we're talking about this",
but I never know how it ends,
because, technically, dreams don't have an end.
Is it future or is it past?

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